Understand how you feel about other people. How do you?
This might sound silly, but your partner is another person. And we as people judge everyone differently. And do we ever judge people! We are judgement making, observation stating, opinion bearing machines! And when you say things out loud it creates it in existence that much more for you and others. Maybe that’s why we gossip so much! Because we want to be validated for the things we think, and say about others. And if you think you don’t gossip, think again. I was once in a program where one of the assignments was to keep track of all the times I was gossiping in my day to day. WOW! You’d be surprised, I know I was. And this was only the times that I was aware of it.
So it’s good to know where you judge people and how you relate to them on a day to day basis. How do you feel about the average bear, the random stranger in the store, the person at the bus stop, or the coffee shop? I want you to really think about this. And don’t just think about it, because chances are you will figure yourself for a pretty cool cat. I want you to take this out there into the world. I do this with clients and they often come back surprised with interesting results. Your homework is to do this too.
At first glance, you might feel like, “Yeah I feel good about people, I like people, I’m friendly, and I’m open.” And that might be the case… However, trust me on this one. Take stock, be aware over the next few days, the people you meet, those that you know and don’t know. Where do you prejudge them? This is important because [Golden Nugget] the judgments you make and place on people are the limits you place on your future partners. Every assumption you make ladies and gentlemen prevents you from being aware of and open to a possibility for an amazing interaction! ‘He’s too rude, He’s a weirdo, He’s a jerk’ or ‘She’s a bit stuck up, She’s out of my league, She’s not cool enough’ are all thoughts and judgments that will limit your potential for meeting your future partner. Also, those thoughts and judgments create in your mind a signal that says ‘I am a NO to that kind of guy/girl,’ or ‘I am NOT GOOD ENOUGH for someone who looks like that’ and ‘I am definitely a NO to someone who talks that way.’ And that just limits the whole purpose here. We are trying to open you up to other partners since the previous ones you met, or haven’t met, aren’t doing it for you.
See you aren’t intentionally creating limits and opportunities in your brain. But your brain is always working whether you want it to or not. Dr. Ron Ball says that “the brain creates a new pattern every 21–30 days” so for a certain duration of time, you can create a new brain pattern. And your life will fill up with joy if you lessen the amount of judgments you place on others! Why? Because you’ll have so much more time and brain power to focus and develop on the things you want out of life!
I will share more of the book in the upcoming months, when the book will likely be published in Late Winter 2013.
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